Meals That Matter

Meals that matter:The Magic of Mealtime.

Let’s face it, being a parent isn’t easy. Most days, just getting your family all together at the same time can seem like mission impossible. Between after school sports, study groups, work and errands, it’s not surprising that many parents say they feel a growing distance between themselves and their children. So how, in the midst of all this chaos, do you find time to talk to your kids and more importantly, have them talk back to you? The answer is easy: Dinnertime. It’s true: While the simple act of eating dinner together can bring families closer together, studies have shown it can also help in preventing drug abuse and achieving better grades. Here are a few simple tips that will give you more than your fill at dinnertime:

■ EAT DINNER TOGETHER AS A FAMILY AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK Conversations flow easier when they happen around the dinner table. If your family is “conversationally challenged,” think of conversation starters before each meal, such as planning a family vacation or discussing current events. Whatever you talk about, ask your children open-ended questions that have to be answered with more than “yes” or “no.”

■ COOK AT LEAST ONE MEAL A WEEK TOGETHER Even your youngest children can do something to help. If your kitchen is too small for everyone to fit, schedule a “helper”or have your children be responsible for different parts of the meal. Your family will grow closer during this time and your kids may even start the conversations themselves.

■ TURN OFF THE OUTSIDE WORLD Set aside the dinner hour as the time when everyone turns off their phones, computers and the TV. Let your friends and extended family know that you won’t be available during that time and stick to it. Use this time to reconnect with each other.

■ MAKE IT SAFE FOR YOUR KIDS TO TALK TO YOU Let them know that you won’t get angry or upset if they talk to you about what’s going on. If they tell you something “offthe record,” then let it stay that way. (Emergencies and dangerous situations aside, of course).

■ LISTEN TO WHAT THEY HAVE TO SAY If you’re setting the table, finishing up last-minute meal preparations or doing something else when your child starts to talk to you, they may give up if they know your attention is really somewhere else. Do your best to give them your undivided attention when they’re speaking.

■ USE ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS Make sure that you understand what your child is telling you. Repeat what they have said and ask questions. With these simple tips, you’ll be well on your way to creating an atmosphere that is closer, more open and more enjoyable for the entire family.

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