Behind the Wheel

Are We
There Yet? Story // Michelle Jacoby
In the fast-paced world of cell phones, laptops and iPods, finding family time can be a challenge. The family dinner hour has turned into gobbling up sandwiches on the way to soccer practice or heating up frozen meals late into the evening. Fortunately, a road trip is where a burned-out family can benefit. The car makes a great place for family conversation: everyone’s seated, confined to a small area and leaving the room, well,
isn’t an option. It’s the ideal time and place to talk about the topics and issues that will help your children navigate their world. According to Robyn Warner, an expert in specialized behavioral health treatment programs for adolescents, open and honest communication is essential for “surviving and thriving” during the adolescent and teen years. She offers these tips for improving communication with your child:

Talk about tough topics. Parents often find it difficult to discuss sensitive topics because they feel that talking about them will prompt their child to start thinking about or experimenting with them. The reality is kids are exposed to these topics every day. Discussing them openly may encourage them to speak to you about these issues before they act. Give them a voice. It’s important to remember that your child has feelings. Acknowledge those feelings, even the ones that make you uncomfortable, but try not to act shocked or launch into a lecture when your child is speaking candidly and honestly with you. Admonishing them will make them less likely to open up to you. Keep your cool. Despite your best efforts, there will be times your child won’t
open up. In these situations, approach the situation in a calm and mature manner. If your child becomes defensive or hostile, don’t allow your emotions to match theirs. Give them a chance to calm down, then ask what’s going on with the situation. As important as it is to talk to your
children, it’s just as, if not more, important to listen to them. Child psychologist and author Vicki Panaccione says that communication is more
than just words; it’s about listening. “True communication is a two-way street, a dialogue, an interchange,” she says in her article “How to Listen so Kids Will Talk.” “However, when one person is talking (usually the parent) and the other doesn’t get a word in edgewise (generally the child), then it’s a lecture. When one person talks and the other discounts what’s being said, it’s a dead end.”Panaccione points to specific things parents can
listen for, including what their children say, their feelings and opinions, and the way they perceive things. She also says to take notice of what they don’t say, and to be aware of their body language and behavior. Most importantly, parents should listen to and acknowledge their children’s
desire to be heard and understood. The important thing to keep in mind on your summer road trip is that talking with each other is what matters; the topic is of little importance. As the miles roll by and discussions become more serious, family members may find themselves actually listening to each other. “True communication is a two-way street,a dialogue, an interchange.”The family road trip. The mere idea of it no doubt conjures
up scenes from the quintessential summer family vacation movie, “National Lampoon’s Vacation.”Thankfully, you don’t have to get stranded in the desert or commandeer a closed amusement park to spend quality time with your kids. All it takes is a long stretch of highway to far-off destinations that will create memories of a lifetime.

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