Making the Grade

The most recognized form of bullying in elementary school is physical violence—such as hitting, punching, pushing or taking another student’s belongings. However, as prevalent as physical violence is, verbal bullying is more common and can be even more damaging as its physical counterpart. Verbal bullying comes in many forms, including taunting, threatening or making fun of a student’s gender, religion, appearance, socioeconomic status or mannerisms. This type of bullying tends to spread quickly among students, who “follow” without thinking of the harm or consequences of what they’re doing. Verbal bullying can also lead to social alienation, which happens when a student is excluded from the group or rest of the class and made to feel inferior or different from everyone else. The bully’s unspoken message is that for others to avoid becoming his/her next target, the bystander should ignore their conscience and join in the isolate-the-victim game. According to recent studies, elementary school bullying is most commonly perpetrated by boys, who look for opportunities to take part in physical bullying when teachers and adults aren’t present or paying close enough attention, such as on the playground, in bathrooms, or in crowded hallways. They’re also most likely to pick on younger children. Bullying that occurs among girls deals mostly with social exclusion. Girls gang up against a victim as way of exerting control. Verbal bullying can also lead to social alienation, which happens when a student is excluded from the group or rest of the class and made to feel inferior or different from everyone else.

What You Can Do
• Help your child develop social skills.
Encourage them to be friends with
people of different backgrounds.
• Build empathy in your kids. If you see
examples of people being bullied, talk
with your children about how these
people might feel.
• Role play with your child about bullies.
Come up with words and actions they
can do if they’re ever in that situation.

WHAT BULLYING
LOOKS LIKE
• Name calling or yelling
• Making faces, rolling eyes
• Scribbling on someone’s work
• Trips or knocks books out of the
victim’s arms
• Pushing, shoving and hitting
• Threatening comments
• Leaving a friend out of a situation,
isolation
• Whispering behind someone’s back
• Gossip
• Making up false rumors about the
victim
CONVERSATION
STARTERS
• Do you know of anyone who has been
bullied?
• How you do you think it must feel?
• I can remember being bullied in
school. Have you had to deal with a
situation like that?
• My friend, who is also a parent, told
me that his third grader was bullied.
• What would you do if someone
pushed you?
• How would you feel if no one sat with
you at lunch? What would you do?
• What would you do if all your friends
were leaving a friend out?
• Did you know that just standing next
to the victim can stop the bully?

According to a report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, for every 25 middle school students, an average of two kids are harassed daily, while two to three are bullied weekly. In addition, almost nine out of 10 kids say they’ve seen someone being bullied.While bullying in elementary school involves more physical acts, bullying in junior high begins to focus on the mental and emotional aspects of abuse. Verbal abuse is common, with middle school children who tease each other about such things as body size, clothing choices, hair styles and hygiene. Emotional bullying happens in the form of social alienation, which, although very subtle, can have long-lasting effects. Junior high students may exclude one another from their regular circle of friends, with the victim eating lunch alone, not having a partner in gym class, or being excluded from parties and get togethers outside of school. Junior high students also begin to become exposed to bullying through electronic media, or cyberbullying. With today’s teens rarely being out of touch,students may do such things as post
derogatory comments on each other’s social media pages, or e-mail or text threats to another student. Studies show that bullies in junior
high school are more likely to pick on people their same age. And while girls are more likely to verbally harass, boys sometimes use physical attacks, but are also likely to verbally threaten and harass someone.

What You Can Do
l
l
• Teach your child to be assertive.
Emphasize peaceful ways to
solve problems.
• Hold kids accountable. If
children stand by and watch
someone being bullied, make
it clear their behavior hurts the
victim, too.
• Be a good example. If you see
someone being bullied or hurt,
help them.

WHAT BULLYING LOOKS LIKE
• Name calling, degrading comments
• Social isolation
• Gossip, starting rumors
• Criticism
• Threatening comments
• Fighting, pushing and shoving
• Cyberbullying (Formspring, Facebook, MySpace,
texts and e-mails)
• Breaks or destroys things belonging to the victim
• Teasing about who their friends associate with
SPRING 2011 maskmatters.org 95
(FOR MORE WARNING SIGNS, SEE HIGH SCHOOL SECTION)

CONVERSATION STARTERS
• Have you ever witnessed someone being
bullied? How did you handle it?
• Have you ever been bullied? How did it make you feel?
• I can remember being bullied in school. Have
you had to deal with a situation like that?
• I heard that kids sometimes post videos on YouTube
of kids fighting. What do you think about that?
• How would you feel if someone created a
fake Facebook profile about you?
• Why do you think someone bullies?
• Do you think adults can be bullies?
• When kids stand up to the bully, the bully will
most likely realize his actions are not okay.

By the end of high school, incidents of physical bullying decrease, while verbal and emotional bullying increases, taking new forms, including social, racial,gender-based and sexual bullying. Verbal bullying in high school usually consists of harsh language or negative comments about a person’s appearance or beliefs. Emotional bullying takes the abuse even farther with such acts as giving someone the silent treatment, spreading
inappropriate or unkind rumors, and purposefully provoking others by whispering or laughing in front of them. High school bullying may also include such acts as graffiti on lockers and school walls, threats of violence and exclusion, hazingand ostracizing
peers. In addition, cyberbullying has become the weapon of choice for many bullies, who use the Internet and electronic formats to harass and torment their victims. From posting gossip and rumors on Facebook and Formspring, to threatening someone via text or e-mail, this form of bullying has become rampant throughout high schools. Some cases have even led to the suicide of its victims.High school students can also become a victim of or a witness to traffic bullying, also known as vehicular bullying. According to the Iowa Department of Transportation,
this type of bullying involves an attempt to intentionally injure or kill another driver as a result of a vehicular incident. These incidents are a leading cause of car accidents in the United States. In fact, a survey of 16 cities by the American Automobile Association showed there were 10,037 incidents of aggressive driving in one year, resulting in 216 deaths and more than 12,610 injuries.

What You Can Do


Help put an end to vehicular
bullying by signing MASK’s
Parent/Teen Driver Contract.
Download it at maskmatters.org.
• Find out your school’s protocol
for bullying. If they don’t
have one, encourage them to
establish one.
• Encourage your child to speak
up. By saying “That’s not cool,
let’s get out of here,” kids can
stand up for each other.
• Teach your child that something
as simple as walking up and
standing next to someone being
bullied can make a difference

WHAT BULLYING LOOKS LIKE
• Judgment
• Name calling, degrading comments
• Text “bombing” and negative text
messages
• Cyberbullying (Formspring, Facebook,
MySpace, texts and e-mails)
• Gossip
• Criticism
• Social isolation
• Harassment, hazing
• Defacing victim’s property

CONVERSATION STARTERS
• Did you know that just making eye contact with a bully can
make him stop?
• Did you know just standing next to the victim can stop the
bully?
• Did you know when you walk away from a bully it can show
him that his behavior is not funny or okay?
• Sometimes just saying “that’s not cool, let’s get out of here”
can stop the bully and give other bystanders the confidence to
speak up or walk away.
• You can speak to a trusted adult.
• Create a suggestion box or hotline at your school that will let
students share concerns and suggestions.
• What would you do if you opened a Formspring account
and you received 10 hate messages in a half hour?
• I heard that bullying can be described as
judgment or exclusion. What do you think?

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