Kids’ Hardships, Frustration & Difficulties. We often hear the term “difficult kids” when describing the kids who are not easy to handle. However, that simply doesn’t mean that parents would face hardships in parenting or they would not enjoy the compassionate parenting just like normal parents do. That’s a whole wrong concept because difficult kids are just like the normal happy kids except the fact that they are more reactive to certain stimuli in their surroundings. Certain factors in their surroundings make them way more hyper and it results in their intolerable behavior.
There can be many reasons that your child is being all fussy and throwing tantrums at you. One of them is the lack of attention you give to your children; such condition is often referred as ADD (attention deficit disorder). Market is providing a wide range of ADD medicine but it’s still preferred to treat this condition naturally because children are more vulnerable to the side effects of medicines. However, science says that there is so much more to the bad behavior of your kid. There may be a possibility that when your kid is going out of his/her ways to disappoint you, to make you angry, to convince you to give a reaction, he/she maybe asking for your affection indirectly. They may be trying to convey something they are unable to understand themselves, but they want you to figure it out for them because at the end of the day, they belong to you; they are dependent on you for every single of their needs. They are being annoying and difficult for a reason that you don’t want to comprehend. You just assume your child to be a defiant one and you just prefer to give up on your child.
Such a situation begs the question that how to deal witch such kids? Being an epitome of emotions, we all need love and care, we need to feel the sense of being desired and wanted. Kids on the other hand, are at the start of forming and processing such emotions. So, let them know that you are there for them. They have your back. They can always rely on you. Secondly, you need to stop considering their bad behavior, instead focus on your bond with them, focus on spending quality time with them. You can try portraying things in a positive way. For instance, stop using the term “Don’t” and replace it with please or some other words. Start considering and appreciating their opinions and try to take advices from them, this way they will realize the importance of their opinion in your life. Ask them, “How would you like to spend your free time today?” or “How are you doing today?”
Find creative ways to communicate with them, play games with them to make them learn about the art of conveying things politely. Just focus on their positive traits instead of complaining about their bad behavior, don’t belittle them in front of outsiders and respect them in every possible way. Most importantly, stop fighting with your kids. It should be you both versus the world, don’t make it you versus your kid. Sit down with them and don’t take anything personally. It is pretty obvious that you are all alone with your child when he/she is screaming at the top of their lungs and when you try to calm them; they even start to scream more making it all unbearable for you. That’s when you need to stay calm and try to empathize with them because your child can’t figure out the flood of emotions they are going through but you definitely can.
There is a common concept of “nature vs. nurture” when talking about kids. Nature refers to the genetic traits a kid has and nurture refers to the environmental traits that influence the brain and character development of your child. So, many people ignore their problematic kids because they assume that nature has something to do with it while others take up the unbearable behavior of their children in their own hands and start figuring out the ways to help their children. They start everything from themselselves. They simply don’t consider their children responsible for their behavior, they think, they take actions and build up their kids morally and ethically. They prioritize their kids because they finally start to understand the cause behind such behavior of their kids. At the end of the day, they are the parents and who else knows sacrificing better than them? Happy parenting!
– Annika Wells