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I
f someone told me four years ago that I
should talk to my children about bullying,
drugs, alcohol and exit plans in elementary
school, I would’ve thought they had
hypochondriac issues.
As a stay-at-home mom, I was under the
societal impression that if I was involved in my
children’s lives, provided them with what they
needed and lived in a good neighborhood, my
children would turn out okay. With parenting
classes to help me communicate with them,
sending them special notes in their lunches,
helping out in their schools and telling them
I loved them 160 times a day, I was content in
knowing that they would get, have and retain
everything they needed to grow and become
great human beings.
That was my belief…until I opened the
communication floodgates with my soon-
to-be middle school child four years ago.
The conversation that took place during one
memorable car ride unmasked the truth about
what children are truly exposed to. I was
stunned, shocked and felt sick to my stomach
upon learning how much my children knew
and saw, and how much of their innocence had
already been tarnished in elementary school.
Here I was, a stay-at-home mom who had
the time to learn, to be involved and teach. And
here, I knew nothing.
I learned immediately that children that young
were “huffing,” smoking, bullying and “sexting,”
and could be prosecuted as young as 8 years
of age. If I’m a parent who has the time and
resources to know (and I don’t), what about all the
other parents out there?Why don’t we know?
As the “mask” unfolded, so did a lot of what
I believed. Our children are exposed to so
much more than we ever were as kids. Issues
today have more edge and substance. Whether
it’s bullying or drugs, it is necessary for parents
to address these issues and give our children
the knowledge and tools to be able to handle
them. Our children need us to validate their
world and help them navigate through it.
“So, Mom, let’s talk about bullies,” my 6-year-
old daughter says as I tuck her into bed. This is
an ongoing dialogue that has been taking place
since last summer. Knowing what I do today, I am
bound and determined to use “time and talk”
as my weapons of defense. I believe bullying,
as revealed in this publication, is a substantial
underlying issue that can splinter into many. I want
my children to know how to recognize it, deflect it
and help reduce it.
Through these talks with my daughter, I’ve
learned that she’s encountered such situations.
I recognize the effects my questions are having
on her. “How did that make you feel?,” I ask her.
As her gaze drifts to the ceiling, the moment
reconfirms to me how early these situations
allow the self-doubt (“I’m not special enough”)
and limitations to our self-consciousness.
Bullying affects everyone. We have all
experienced situations in our own childhoods
that have left scars that have shaped who we
are today. Negative comments, exclusion from
certain peer groups, whispering behind the
back, being teased for not wearing the right
clothes, or for being different are all forms of
bullying. Being bullied chips away at our self-
esteem and the earlier it starts, the more likely
it will leave lasting damage.
As parents, we need to help intercept these
issues and empower our children to cope with
these life situations. I hope through this magazine,
you will be inspired to help prepare your child.
Take the time to talk with your child.While it’s
never too early to start, it actually can be too late.
Kimberly Cabral
Founder / Publisher
MASK
It’s never
too early.
“I want my
children to
know how to
recognize it,
how to deflect it
and how to help
reduce it.”
publisher’s letter
SPRING
2011
maskmatters.org
13
PHOTOGRAPHY
Dee Turner