FALL 2017
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G
ood sportsmanship in preschoolers is about teaching them to
play fair and helping them accept losing. Since preschoolers
are black-and-white thinkers, it’s important to remember that
losing feels horrible at this age. And a preschooler is likely to
feel horrible if they lose. When a preschooler feels horrible, they may throw
a temper tantrum, react with physical aggression, or storm off in a
fit of anger.
The important thing for you to remember is to not engage or
unintentionally reinforce this behavior. Let them calm
down by giving them space or cuddling them. Once
they’re calm, reflect their feelings of disappointment
and anger at losing, modeling the use of language to help them
understand why they’re feeling angry and what they could do
differently next time.
Rather than allowing them to change the rules of the game
so they can win, set the expectation at the beginning of the game: If we
choose to play this game, we will follow the rules and play fair. Remind
them you are playing the game to have fun, not to win. Talk to them about
how winning doesn’t mean they are good and losing doesn’t mean they are
bad. Teaching them to tolerate losing builds life-long perseverance skills.
Signs & Behaviors
q
Cries excessively when losing
q
Throws tantrums
q
Changes the rules in order
to win
q
Shows physical aggression
when they lose
q
Chooses not to play a game
because they don’t want to lose
q
Brags or teases when they win
q
Shows uncontrollable anger
at losing
q
Fears losing
q
Unable to enjoy the game or
have fun
q
Doesn’t share
q
Doesn’t show kindness
CHILD READING LIST
H
“Oh, The Places You’ll Go”
by
Dr. Seuss
H
“Sally Sore Loser: A Story About
Winning and Losing”
by Frank J. Sileo
PARENT READING LIST
H
“Your Successful Preschooler: Ten Skills
Children Need to Become Confident and
Socially Engaged”
by Ann Densmore
H
“The Kids’ (and parents’, too!) Book of
Good Sportsmanship: An Easy-to-Read
Guide for Families”
by Leslie Susskind
Good
Sportsmanship
Pre-K
What You Can Do
D
Set good sportsmanship rules by
defining rules: Play fair, don’t change
the rules so you can win, everyone gets
a turn, losing is OK and winning is OK.
D
Teach them not to tease when
someone loses.
D
Teach them not to brag when they win.
D
Enforce consequences when rules
are broken.
D
Praise effort, not outcome.
D
Focus on the fun.
D
Don’t demean them when they make
an error; don’t make sarcastic or
teasing comments. Children in this age
range don’t understand sarcasm.
D
Model respect while playing games
with your kids.
Conversation
Starters
“
What did it feel like to win?” or
“What did it feel like to lose?”
“
Remember, we are playing
to have fun and spend time
together. If we win, if we lose—
that’s OK.”
“
It doesn’t matter if you win or
lose, you have to always play
by the rules and treat everyone
with kindness.”
