C
ompetition and accomplishments take on a new meaning in
junior high. Identity and friends take center stage, so being
good at something becomes critical because it helps define
where you belong in the social strata.
Parental support at this stage is so important because respect and
tolerance in relationships and competition are central to successfully
negotiating this developmental stage of identity and friendships.
Parents that emphasize good sportsmanship through highlighting the
importance of respect and tolerance in relationships and identity tend
to have children who are kind and compassionate, lose graciously, are
tolerant of challenges, don’t give up, and establish good friendships.
On-going conversations about doing your best rather than winning,
being a good sport, losing with dignity, and being respectful of others
is one of the best ways a parent can help develop good sportsmanship
in a junior high school child. Modeling appropriate behaviors at
competitions, encouraging teamwork, making sure your child shows
up to all practices and games, and treating wins and losses as teachable
moments are solid steps toward establishing a foundation of good
sportsmanship with your child.
FALL 2017
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What You Can Do
D
Model, define and live a life that shows
respect and tolerance.
D
Model positive conflict management.
D
Model and emphasize teamwork.
D
Model how to lose with grace and dignity.
D
Have ongoing conversations about how to
be a good sport.
D
Help identify professionals that are
good sports.
D
Focus on effort, doing their best and
the process of doing a good job rather
than winning.
D
Talk with the coach or mentor, and make
sure that they are focusing on effort
rather than winning. If they are a negative
model, consider moving your child to a
different club or help your child deal with
a negative coach by supporting them and
having ongoing conversations about not
being sucked into that negativity.
D
Put the game or situation into perspective.
Less than 1 percent of children
become professional athletes or Nobel
prize-winning scientists. Encourage
commitment, effort and perseverance—
which are the attributes that will create
successful adults.
Conversation
Starters
“
Describe what it means to be a good
sport. Compare your behaviors to this
description. Were you a good sport the
last time you played?”
“
Winning is important, but it’s not the
reason to play. We play to have fun, get
better at a skill, and learn how to deal with
challenges. If winning is the only reason
you’re playing, you’re missing out on the
bigger picture.”
“
Why is it important to be a good sport?
What would you gain from being a
good sport?”
“
Losing with grace is just as important
as winning because you’re not going to
win all the time. Just because you lose
doesn’t mean you give up. Losses help
you improve.”
Signs &
Behaviors
Kids
with positive
sportsmanship skills tend to:
q
Show respect for the game
q
Praise effort
q
Focus on their teammates and on helping them succeed
q
Share the ball
q
Be able to define characteristics of good versus bad
sportsmanship
q
Celebrate the team’s success
q
Help each other deal with loss
q
Not choose a “cheat” or illegal move to get an advantage
q
Follow the rules of the game
q
Win or lose with dignity and grace
Kids who
don’t have
good sportsmanship skills tend to:
q
Disrespect the game by making the activity about
themselves
q
Engage in cheats or illegal moves
q
Not focus on teamwork
q
Not allow weaker teammates time in the game
q
Tease, bully and isolate weaker teammates
q
Not help others
q
Not enjoy the game unless they win
q
Show anger, disrespect when they lose
q
Not accept responsibility for their loss
q
Blame others for their loss
