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TAKE 5
:
‘The Talk’
Five simple ways to talk to your
kids about sex
In a recent study commissioned by Liz Claiborne Inc. and
LoveIsRespect.org, of more than 1,000 tweens (ages 11 to
14), nearly half said they’d had a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Not particularly surprising. But if you knew that one out
of four of those tweens said that oral sex or going “all the
way” is part of a tween romance, you might start thinking
about locking those doors right now.
The good news is that there’s plenty of evidence
indicating that kids whose parents discuss sex with them
are more cautious than their peers and are more likely
to put off sex or use contraception. Here are five tips in
getting the conversation going:
YOUNG CHI LDREN
• “Do you know the names of all
your body parts?”
• “Do you know why girls look
different than boys?”
• “Is it ok for anyone to touch
your private parts?” Establish
what “private parts” are.
• “When I was your age, kids
were talking about sex. Have
you heard anything about
that?”
• Mention someone you know
that is pregnant. “Do you know
what that means?”
TWEENS
• “Kids your age are going
through a lot of changes. What
have you heard about the
changes of puberty? How do
you feel about going through
puberty?”
• “At what age do you think a
person should start dating?
Have any of your friends started
dating?” Establish an age that
your family will be comfortable
with dating.
• “Do you think girls and boys
are treated differently?” If the
answer is yes, ask, “How?”
• “What would you do if someone
came up and grabbed a part
of your body? How would you
handle that?”
TEENS
• “How have you changed in the
last two years? What do you
like and what do you not like
about the changes?”
• “At what age do you think a
person is ready to have sex?
How should a person decide?”
• “At what age do you think a
person is ready to be a parent?”
• “Do you know what it costs to
raise a child?”
• “Do you know what statutory
rape is?”
1.
Find the moment. Instead of
saying, “It’s time to talk about
sex,” make a plan. Strike up the
conversation while driving in
the car, before bedtime or while
you’re shooting hoops with your
kids. Whenever you decide to
do it, be sure it’s when you have
your child’s undivided attention.
Also, speak to them in terms
they’ll understand and use their
language.
2.
It’s best to start talking with
your child about sexuality in
early childhood, but no matter
how old your child is, it’s never
too late.
3.
Make the conversation
ongoing—not a talk that
happens once or twice.
4.
Don’t let fear get in the
way of talking with
your kids.
5.
Start conversations with
“teachable moments.”
Everyday moments in our lives
can prompt conversations, such
as telling your child about a
friend or relative who might have
had a child at an early age or
who had multiple sex partners,
and what that did to his or her
reputation and values.
Qs & As
So now that you’ve got a plan
in place for “the talk,” the next
step is determining what you’ll
talk about. A good way to get
the conversation going is by
asking your child questions about
what they know—or think they
know—about sex. Here are a few
to consider:
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{
DID YOU KNOW?
}
Physical bullying is the least common and declines with age.
SPRING
2011
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