How do you know that your preschooler may be struggling with boundaries:

• They will test limits
• They will respond to specific praise and positive attention
• They can mimic your behaviors
• They will engage in play with you
• They can understand sharing and taking turns
• They are able to keep their bodies safe and understand body safety for themselves and others
• They will say No
• They will struggle with accepting No

Things you can do:

• Be consistent
• Offer them choices
• Make visual aids about rules to reinforce messages
• Model healthy boundary setting
• Regulate your emotional reactions to limit testing
• Learn about child development so you understand reasonable expectations about behaviors
• Try different methods to see what is best for your family
• Use positive reinforcement and praise to identify the specific prosocial behaviors they are engaging in
• Remember that limit testing is part of this age

Conversation Starters:

• “It’s important to use our words when we want something or don’t want something. Can we practice saying no? Can we practice telling each other what we want?”
• “Taking turns, sharing, and helping someone else are safe ways to show we care. Let’s practice.”
• “It is ok to say no if you don’t want a hug or a kiss from someone.”

Books for kids:

• My invisible bubble by Michelle Chan
• It’s my body by Lory Freeman
• The not so friendly friend: how to set boundaries for healthy relationships by Christina Furnival

Books for Parents:

• “I can say No” by Jenny Simmons
• “The rabbit listened” by Cori Doerrfeld
• “Rissy no kisses” by Katey Howes

To learn more add the Boundary Issue to your MASK Library for an age by age outline to teaching boundaries.

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