Taking Bullying Seriously

Clearly, bullying is an issue that needs to be taken seriously in schools, families and society as a whole. But how do we make this shift?

Many forms of bullying are based upon words. Sure, bullying sometimes gets physical. But most often, bullying is happening verbally and now, more than ever, through written communication. Thinking that words don’t matter is dangerous and until we start taking the power of words seriously, it’s unlikely that many forms of bullying will be taken seriously, as well.

We need to start talking about the power of words and teaching this to each other and to youth. Our society is built upon a cultural structure that promotes not only competition, but also perfectionism. We all strive, in one way or another, to be the best and this encourages displacing negative emotions for positive ones, brushing off hurtful words and actions, and constantly putting our best face forward.

This isn’t to say that masking reactions isn’t appropriate sometimes. It is. But, if we are constantly showing children that it isn’t acceptable to show pain, we’re teaching them that those emotions and reactions are abnormal and unwarranted.

We need to start being real with each other and with our kids. As parents, we need to share when we’re hurt, and when words and actions mean a lot to us. We need to listen to young people when they share these feelings with us, too. Respect is one of the most valuable gifts we can give to them, teens specifically—respect to hear them out, respect for what they’re going through, and respect for their ability to understand their own experience.

Oftentimes, we try to shield our kids from the unpleasant truths about the world, thinking they “won’t understand.” But children and teens are quite advanced in their ability to understand and report what is going in their lives. Sometimes, listening and validating are truly the best tools.

To read more about Bullying and teaching children to be accountable for their actions add this issue to your MASK Library

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